For the past few months I’ve been working part-time in the wedding planning department of a Peranakan restaurant. Nothing too big or fancy, but interesting none the less, and people there are awesome.

It’s a totally new experience for me, be it the restaurant setting or the wedding/ROM thingy we do. The number of wedding lunch/dinner-s I’ve attended in the past few months jumped from 1 in 20 years to 3 or 4 per month. The first one I attended (as a staff) was such a touching experience, the union of two person. Then things just went downhill, it got meh seeing people I don’t know sign the paper, hah.

Anyways, I’m not here to share about what I’m doing or what I’m not doing today.
I’m here to share my views of marriage.

Ironically, I did not see marriage as anything fairy-tale or even romantic like when I decide to go for this job or after. The job actually strengthened my belief of ‘marriage-is-not-that-special’ and ‘love-is-over-rated’ schema.

Marriage was never about love. At least not from the start. In the beginning of times, marriages almost always comes with motive or an objective.
Two families might want to “combine forces”.
Two nation might want to join as one, marriage helps to build that path.
Some men want to own some women.
There was nothing sweet or romantic about marriages.
As time past, people get more deluded and fed with romance, thus marriage evolved.
Marriage became a symbol of love, a love so deep you decide to want to live with that person
forever. (Debatable tho)
Look how far that have come, from women being owned to love.

But things are taking a change.
Here and now, individualism is widely promoted as compared to in the past decades.
Women are standing up more for themselves now.
World is changing yet again, people are more aware of things and care more for themselves.
Divorce rates are rising, less people view marriages as a forever thing.
Here in Singapore, many get married because we have to get a flat.
At least that’s the more economical decision if you don’t want to live with your parents forever,
and to get one flat by yourself is near impossible especially you’re from a middle income family or poor. (Let’s not talk about the born rich ones, such woes will never be on their list.)
So. People get married here to ‘BTO’ to be eligible to get a flat. Such joy.

My points are:

  • Marriage is not equal to love. 
  • Not everyone marry someone they love or love the person they marry.
  • Some people will just never find true love.
  • You’ll never know if someone is ‘the one’. 

That’s just how the world works.

Romance is a drug people feed on to escape the harshness of reality.
Ain’t complaining.
We all need a little drug to numb our senses.

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