Distract me

Didn’t realize I live through days by getting myself distracted.
I didn’t know at least that it is till this extend.
To an extend that I can’t function properly.
Sorry, I function exceptionally well without it, which is not me.
No it’s not good , I feel terribly 3413413n times a day.
If that is even possible.

I think of things all the time with so much extra thinking time.
It’s good in a sense I’ve seen things clearly for a change and realize
how stupid I was. How many stupid things I’ve done. And will
never ever do a gain.
I grew, more mature, more thoughtful, smarter, and more bitter.
No, it’s not good.
Ignorant is bliss.
I was stupider but happier.

I function too well, became more practical, feel too much to
a point that I don’t know what to feel.
Cause I just understand too well.
Thought too much from all point of view.
From time to time I catch myself hating someone for things they’ve done,
but I’ll always tell myself “No, WE, he did this because of … which somehow isn’t
wrong.”
Yeah, hating is definitely easier.
But I can’t, I’ll help people to give themselves excuse for myself.

I know things too well, expect too much.
It seems only fair when I’ve been through this much, right?

No it’s not good.
Days are easier back then.

I have too much time,
I kept thinking back how hard I worked for it.
My friends even said I was obsessed.
Maybe I was.

After all it was something I was proud of, something I thought I was good in.
The one and only thing I thought I was good in.
But I lost it.

So here I am, thanking you for what you did and I hope you can live with
it. After all, pulling me down was what you wanted, isn’t it?

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