Tired. But fighting.

I’m pretty much only here when I’m procrastinating something more important or urgent.
Referring to the emo picture above, I realise I’m an extrovert that enjoys my solidarity time.
Free of influence, responsibilities, expectations, schedules, deadlines, just everything.
Although the out going part of me will die if I don’t have social interactions, but I will feel extremely burnt out if I don’t have a complete me time. Just me and my thoughts.
(Not too much of it tho, I get bored easily)

Recently, after getting a Kitten then a Puppy. I find such thing is really a LUXURY.
On top of parent duties (EVERY FUCKING WAKING HOURS) I still have my role of Social Media Marketing/Graphic Designer (debatable). I know some people can’t understand why the fuck do I have to bring this work upon myself. I am totally in a fortunate position to be a not so rich ‘taitai’ living the shiok life of not having to work, just cook, and keep pets. Why work so hard to get yourself into all these and then complain about burn outs? How fortunate of a position I am in and how many millions of people want to live the life I live.

BUT THIS IS NOT ME. Lounging whole day doing nothing, taking care of kids/pets.
I KNOW if I don’t do it I’ll lose myself, everything I’ve worked so hard for will slowly rot away.
I will lose my sense of self and everything I’ve built. It’s just not me, I’ll lose my sanity and become someone that’s not me, and I really like me. Or at least how much I use to have it all together.
Plus I ENJOY doing it. Managing social accounts, learning about the backends of industries I’ve never even given a second thought about before.
Upgrading myself, learning new skills and tools. It brings me joy.
It’s rare that people ‘finds themselves’ AND FUCKING GET PAID FOR IT.
MONEY GUYS, MONEY. 
I’m money motivated (tho thankfully still generous about it, generous therefore money motivated?) it’s not a bad thing, I get money through my own wits and hard work. To spend it on things and people I want without a worry about money. I like that? I get it; Can’t afford it? I’ll choose an acceptable alternative or work hard for it. Money really is a very big part of living a decent life in this capitalised society. People that say money can’t buy happiness should really try buying something for someone that the someone really wanted for very long but can’t afford.

I get paid for something I like doing, worked hard for, and makes me happy.
I CAN DO IT AT THE EASE OF MY HOME/ANYWHERE/ANYTIME!
HOW PERFECT IS THAT?!
H.O.W P.E.R.F.E.C.T I.S T.H.A.T ?!

But recently I can’t. I am a responsible person, I know the Puppy (Sushi) needs my attention.
I know there are errands I have to run, things I have to do.

Midnight till three in the morning will always be my favourite time of the day.
Free of expectations, free of responsibilities.

Busy Bee

Wanted to attach a picture of bees but got really freaked out by the zoomed up shots of bees.

Hello I’m back to being busy.
I really just can’t stay not doing anything, did I tell you I almost had a melt down the other time from having too little thing to do. I don’t like the idea of watching too many shows or do I have the patience to, so I will consciously steer away from watching shows that at not super interesting to me or are too long. I like to do things that involves creating or something that have an end ‘product’. 

That’s probably why I got into Social Media Marketing and content creation.
It involves marketing, which is one of the topics I enjoy, which helps brand tell stories through branding and communicate it to their target audience. I like stories and communicating/connecting with people. That’s why I also like Social Media.
It’s fun when you can combine such interests and make people pay you for your knowledge of it.
This little ‘business’ don’t require any capital, just knowledge that are readily available online and a computer with internet connects. Actually, with a smart phone is enough too.

What better ways to spend the time than to use it to enrich yourself, upgrade your knowledge, and to earn money at the same time! Huehuehue.

Ya but that’s the problem, on my quest to learn more about this topic, my current clients started referring me more clients. WHICH IS AWESOME KEEP IT COMING, but my lazy procrastinating ass can’t keep up all these on top of trying to complete some online courses, and some self studying, and some side projects, and some bootcamps, and I would also like to learn a new language or two.

BECAUSE I KEEP PROCRASTINATING, look I’m now blogging instead of clearing jobs and to dos. It’s really true when they say one is more efficient and have better management of their time when they do not have a lot of time. I could juggle so many things when I had a day job, 2 freelance clients, and 2 part time job. Now that I’m so free I just rush everything in the last minute.

OK URGH I’LL GO COMPLETE THEM NOW OK BYEEEE

Business talk

So. I’m moving into Freelancing as a Social Media Manager on top of
my current jobs. To diversify my skillset and portfolio.

However, this is not what’s I’m here to blog about today.
I’m here to talk about one of my ‘client’/’boss’ whom business accounts I manage.
She’s my secondary school senior. For a long time I knew of her running such business.
A very successful one indeed. Since she’s an acquaintance, I approached her and pitched
my worth. She gladly, and very nicely, accepted. God bless her.

Just now, just a few hours before I sat here typing, I met up with her to go through
the details and yada da. What I got out of it was so much more.
The zest she possessed, the way she started her business from absolutely nothing.
The pure capability and courage. Not only business sense, but her wisdom in
relationship and the paths she have to choose. It’s hard to believe she’s just a year older.
Saying sh’e a year older is pushing it, it’s only a few months really.
Not having reached her birthday yet, she’s the same age as me.
On top of all these she’s such a nice lady to talk to.

Woah.

; I’ll stop when I’m there.

Lynch mob mentality.

I’ve always liked Social Media.
I think they are a great and easy way for people to look far away and
learn about other people and culture they may never ever reach in this life.
To widen their perspective, to marvel about the world and people.
To reconnect with old friends, to share great ideas.
Then I realize Social Media is just a tool, and like all tools, 
its impact is in the hands of the user. 
You can give 2 men the same smartest machine on Earth, 
one will write new programs, spread positive messages. 
The other will only be an internet troll even though he have everything 
else the first man have.
I’m not sure about the internet community in other countries, but in Singapore, so
many self-righteous people posts about things that they deem ‘not-right’ or ‘unfair’
online with pictures of the person and sometimes sensitive information.
Some of this post goes unnoticed by general public, some picks up traction
and goes full blown viral and picked up by state media.
Often times creating a lynch mob, where netizens digs out more information about
the supposed ‘person-whom-have-done-wrong’, sharing them online, cussing them,
demanding ‘justice’ to be brought.
When all of them based their opinion on the original poster’s opinion, and when
none of them, including the original poster, knows the fact.
I’m not saying that the original posters are always wrong, but they definitely only represent
one perspective. Even real criminals that committed murder deserves a trial and his
innocence protected until proven guilty, then why can’t we give a random guy on the
internet we know NOTHING about the benefit of the doubt?

It’s been a few months since my last entry.
Have been crazy busy and stressed, running around non-stop.
With my finals consisting of 5 whole modules coming up in a month’s time,
stress level is more than 9999.

However, I’m truly glad this will be my last UOL exams I will have to take, and
then I’ll be a graduate.
I won’t say it’ll be my last examination ever in my life, planning to take another degree,
but I’m glad I’m out of this hell hole for now, so I can move on with life.

kthxbye

Ugh. 

Life’s been sooooo annoying.
Not busy, not boring, but annoying.
Kinda stuck in a position where I can’t move forward, or take a step back.
I kinda want to quit my job and focus more of studying and sleeping,
but that won’t work cause I’ve got bills to pay.