There’s no place like home.

It feels surreal to be back in Singapore after 2 years. Everything looks and feels the same, the people are the same, the roads are the same, the shops are the same.
What truly feels weirdest of all is I can’t remember much or feel much of the 2 years in United States. Maybe I have not yet tried to recall too much, maybe I’m still taking in the fact I’m in Singapore right now, or maybe there’s just nothing there I feel attached to.

Independence

Cherry Blossom
String held up by constant stress : interestingasfuck
A string kept upright by tension.

You know before this I typed a very long post which I keep going in rounds and rounds trying to find a point in what I was trying to bring across. Then I realised, what I was trying to say is that I don’t have anyone to look up to. One paragraph is enough then.

2019 – Year 1 of 3 in PCV.

Mountain Home AFB

I’ve been procrastinating to complete this post for weeks.
Since I-forgot-which-year, I try to make it a point to summarize the past year’s highlights and notable things. At least for those that I remember. I’m doing this in hopes that I have something to look back on other than photos, photos are memorable, but words explains them so much more with more details. I want to look back from 2029 and laugh at my younger self.

Moved into Mountain Home AFB housing.

Definitely gonna be the biggest house I’m gonna live in in this life-time. It’s huge. A little too big for 2 people, 1 cat, and 1 dog. I think what we’re living in is a bungalow, I’m not sure. (Refer to feature image.)
My house consist of 2 dinning area (?), a living room, 2 toilets and only the one upstairs have bath/shower, 2 rooms one with a HUGE walk in wardrobe (yay), 1 garage, and a backyard.
You’ll think the bigger the house the better until you have to clean it. Even if you can afford a maid to do the housework, it’s a total fuse realizing you left something upstairs when you’re comfortably seated downstairs. PLUS you’ll have to maintain everything by yourself, we have to mow the lawn, sweep the leaves and de-weed the grass, or risk fines. Good thing is the rental/water/electricity are all free. One less thing to worry about. The 2 ultimate favourite household appliances are the dishwasher and dryer. O M G . Dishwasher really saves soooo much time, I just have to load all the dirty dishes into the washer and wait 1 hour~, it even heat dry the dishes! Same thing for dryer, I just have to load the washed clothes into the dryer and wait 1 hour, the dryer even removes most of the animal hair and lint from the clothes! Eliminating one of the chore I dislike the most. Clothes hanging. Seriously considering to get a dryer back in Singapore.
The free housing provided by RSAF is really one key thing many Air Force regulars decides to come to Peace Carvin V (PCV). Unfortunately, the new regulation is that new comers from Singapore now have to live out base – in Mountain Home, which is ~20 minutes drive away from base due to limited base housing. Not only that, the electricity is not complimentary, and many times if families wanna get a better house outside (than the one offered, which is small and meh-ish), they have to top up rental from their own pocket. So it’s not really ‘worth it’ to be deployed here as before.
Initially I wanted to write about the facilities inside the base for its resident but this post is getting long so I’ll leave it to another post.

First Pet(s)
Sahimi and Sushi!
Sashimi and Sushi

For anyone following, you might know I got 2 pets. (Excluding all the tiny tiny ones like ants, hermit crab, beta fish, etc.) – Sushi the Shiba Inu, and Sashimi the cat!
Sashimi is the first pet, got him as a kitten from Idaho Humane Society, an animal shelter that’s opened throughout United States.
WX decided that we are to each have our own favourite animal as pets here – against my protest. Pets are like babies, all very cute and perfect until they are yours and you have to start being responsible for another living thing. The amount of stress that first few months was almost crippling, especially when not long after the cat we got the dog so that they can grow up together and hopefully live harmoniously. (Other than the occasional cat dog wrestle, they love each other very much). You can follow them on their instagram @sushibasashimeow.
I’m not sure if I’ve talked about how stressful it is to raise a puppy. GOD DAMN STRESS. 100x more stressful than a kitten. Kittens are fine, they practically raise themselves, you just have to give them food and litter and clear their litter box. DOGS, DOGSSSS. Dogs .. Dogs you have to train them, walk them, play with them, feed them, groom them, play with them some more, clean them, chase after them when they snatch something they shouldn’t, stop them from destroying all your furniture, potty train them, clear their poo/pee. Again and again. Crazy stress and commitment. Now that Sushi is a bigger puppy (7months) he’s not so attention demanding anymore, BUT STILL. That few months were exhausting.
Have I mentioned their fur? EVERY FUCKING WHERE. I used to vacuum every 2 or 3 days, now I have to do it everyday. Of course it’s not all bad, Sashimi LOVES me, he snuggles up to me every chance he have to be alone with me, he sleeps right on me or above my head when we sleep. Sushi loves me too, listening more to me than anyone else and snuggles up to me when he’s not crazy running around. More on them on other posts, trying to keep this short.

People (Spouses)
428 Buccaneers!
PCV 10th Anniversary

If not for the people and friends here, I would have sink into depression. There’s really limited things to do here. I mean we CAN travel, but that takes money and planning and LEAVES. The random dinners, chit chat sessions, trips to town, events attending really helps the boredom and loneliness. Plus, I’ve learnt MahJong! Hahahahahahah. Which is actually really fun, and time consuming (which is good), and helps to get my brain ticking.
Knowing people from all walks of life really broaden my perspectives to different aspects too, so cheers to that!

Life

Over all, it’s just really slow paced here. I’ve learnt how to cook so many more dishes that I want to do. (Though they still taste awful, but I really do try.) Unfortunately, I don’t like slow paced, still doesn’t. However, I’m trying to love it everyday. Everyday, I find ways to make my hours purposeful, failing most of the time succumbing to laziness and procrastination, still I try everyday to get back on track and learn/do something new. I’m proud to say I’ve learnt a thing or two. I’m also trying to be more active in self/health care. Taking better care of my skin and exercising more, will have to work more on the sleeping schedule.
I do miss my friends and family back at home a lot, thanks to technology I don’t feel so distant to them as it could’ve been. I miss the convenience of Singapore more than anything. How I can get cheap and good food anywhere, how I can read as I commute from place to place, how I don’t have to tip and all GST are included on displayed price.

2020

Year 2 of 3. I’ll be pursuing a Masters Degree of International Business Management form SOAS-UOL via distant learning. One can argue that it might be pretty useless, with my lack of experience, and that the degree is not from a prestigious awarding body. BUT, with all things considered – how free I am here, my love for learning and knowledge, monetary/time/location limitations, it’s actually a good choice to make. Therefore, I hope to work hard for a distinction. On top of that, I want to learn more practical skills, I’ve decided to try to master Python, I know 1 programming language might not seems like much but I have no background, and google told me Python is one of the easier one to get a hang of. I’ll also live to explore more of United States, live a little more freely, and be more efficient! Ok this is getting too draggy, bye! See you next post.

Romance Drama

I don’t, or hardly cry over Romance drama/movies.
Not that they don’t touch me, but .. it’s over ‘glorified’.
I know the male lead and female lead went through a lot a lot to be together.
The whole world tried to break them up!

I know, but that’s not the most difficult thing one can experience in life.
It’s pretty tough to be separated from your loved ones, but there’s so much more in life than male/female relationships.
There are so much more happening in other’s life that’s 1000 times harder and note worthy.
The foreign domestic worker that leaf her family to work in a foreign land so she can provide her children with the most basics of clothing and stationeries. A young man doing his best against his unfortunate background work against all odds to his dreams. All these stories of hardship and hardwork or more moving (to me) than 2 people with Korean names crying over love.

My 2018

Hey look I can add captions for photos, cool.

2018 was all kinds of crazy. Mostly good crazy.
I can’t remember anything bad that happened, I SUCKS at remembering bad things.
Or maybe I’m really good at not remembering things I don’t want to remember.

Ok let’s review my 2018 a little. I know it’s late, it’s almost the 3rd month of 2019.
I was just really fking busy the last half of year of 2018. Like jammed pack busy.
I’m still slowly recovering from the trauma and the initial shock of suddenly becoming SUPER FREE.

I graduated. 

My last ever SIM-UOL Business Management paper was on the end of May.
I can’t remember what paper it was, but I remember I smiled like an idiot after leaving the exams hall and walking to the MRT station because I was finally FREE.
To be fair the last year of Uni wasn’t THAT hard, I became smart and really just chose what subject I was interested in. Unlike Year 2, I added Managing Accounting in just so I won’t be suffocated with all qualitative modules, or so I thought. After passing MA on the dot I realised, fuck numbers, I’m a bullshiter and numbers can’t be bullshited out of thin air but examples for qualitative paper can.
Plus I took Management and Social Media. Social fucking media where the examples are all Facebook and Instagram and Spotify. I scrolled FB in the name of study, bliss.
I graduated with a Second Lower Honours. Tbh if I failed even 1 module on my last year, I would’ve have to retain another year. Welp, at least I graduated so I can move on with life.
Ironically, after 23 years of formal education, I only realise the joy of it on my 1.5 last years of studies. What a shame, how life would’ve turned out differently if I knew the importance and understood the joy of knowledge when I was in Secondary school.
Everyone takes different time to grow I guess. I’ll just work harder from now on. Masters next? I hope. (Only thing stopping me now cause I’m now a piece of broke ass and can’t afford no Masters.)

Yay.

Job(s) and hustle. 

I think I held 5 jobs for the last 6 months of 2018. Hah. It does sound a little crazy.
They are:
1. 6 months contract job with Info-comm Media Development Authority (IMDA).
2. A Fire Safety Manager.
3. Wedding/Events Co-ordinator at The Blue Ginger Restaurant
4. Freelance Social Media Manager – Holding 2 separate client accounts so I’ll count it as 2.
Whenever I tell this to people –
People: Are you really in a lack of money?
Me: Will you ever think you have too much money?

Money – The more the merrier right? Duh.
Imagine all the things you can do with more money.
I am money oriented. However, I do not think money is the most important thing in my life.
3 things are (for my current self) –

1. People around me.
2. Experience (Work/Life/Extreme roller coaster/etc).
3. Knowledge/Skills
3.5 Wisdom – What comes naturally but not definitely with the combination of experience and knowledge.

Sorry to put these so straight, although these 3 things seems like things that don’t need money, but these things need A LOT of money. Well, not a lot a lot, but a lot.

I love the people around me, I want the best for them. I pains me I am unable to get them whatever they want. It pains me I cannot lessen my parents burden. They can keep telling me that it’s okay, they don’t need me to provide (even friends and siblings) but I know, and remember, and feel the happiness that radiates from a smile someone gives when they receive something they truly want but unable to get with their own efforts. I want to work hard on their behalf,  so that they don’t have to.

I also like experiencing all kind of different things. Travel, food, Skydiving, diving, technology, the latest gadgets. Some are materialistic wants, but I refuse to be contented with life. I want it I get it. Whatever the means (of course not WHATEVER, I won’t do unkind things), I know nothing is not achievable if you want it bad enough.
Plus they are not all materialistic. Working different jobs allow me to know a lot more people (which I truly enjoy) and learn a lot a lot of new things and knowledge! I also get to learn things outsider won’t get to know and thus understand a lot of things better. – Knowledge

I have no choice but to work hard to earn more, to do more, if I want to achieve what I want.
Plus, this is nothing bad, it’s always good to work hard for what you want, and I’m still young.
年轻是本钱。(Loosely translates to youth is wealth/potential/capital).

Relationship.

Hahahhahahaha I got married. At age 23. LOLOLOL. (I wanted to say FML but Xiangy might be reading). Why do I lead such unconventional/weird/funny/different life than many people else. WHY. Especially when my view on marriage is at best meh.
It’s not that it’s bad lol.

(2 Days gap here while I procrastinated this post)

Initially, 25 was the age I want to be married, earliest.
Feels like a good age to be married after working for a few years.
However, I also believe what is meant to be will be.
Some couples split after 10 years being together, some stay happily married even if they got married only after meeting each other for a year. There is no guarantee in marriage.
Plus I hate suspense, I want to go through everything but I can’t wait to know what’s at the end of the tunnel.
Also, there’s a rather big motivation to be married. Xiangy is being deployed to United States, Idaho for 3 years. He’s allowed to bring along his spouse, whom will be entitled to an allowance too. On top of provided housing and utilities. This brings me to my next point.

3 Years in a foreign land. Mountain Home Airforce Base.

Sounds good and all but I am not allowed to work (officially) in US.
This put me in a MEGA dilemma when I was asked if I wanted to accompany him to US.
I know a lot people will jump at this opportunity, for some it’s literally their life goal. I personally know a few that will die to be in my place. (Child birth here will be sponsored too as of now).
There are people that dreams to be a house wife and do house wifey thing, but you know what?
HOUSE WIFE IS THE FUCKING LAST THING I WANT TO BE EVER IN MY LIFE.
I’ve always know I DO NOT WANT to be a house wife or stay at home mum. I’ve shared with my friends on several occasion how i detest the idea of being a housewife. How Im usually dead bored on the second day of school holiday with out a thing to be working on/aiming for/attending to.
I absolutely cannot keep my mind idle.
AND THEN THIS DETACHMENT BOMB DROPPED ON ME.
Took me a bit (a lot) of struggle to come to this decision to come over here. Mainly on this basis:
I’ll be paid to do nothing, but meanwhile I can do WHATEVER I want, I won’t get this opportunity (living overseas for an extended period) in the future, and it’s a place I’ve never been to. Also I’ve decided to further my studies here. Masters or a degree in a different major.
To be honest I’m unsure of this decision until today, though I’ve been here for 2 months only.
But I’m optimistic and determined to make the best of this 3 years, not let it go to waste and upgrade myself to better and employable after 3 years.
I miss my family, friends, and the familiarity of Singapore terribly.

Welp I guess that’s all for now, or at least what I can remember. 

Ciaos.