2014

HELLO ALL.

It’s been long long long.
Thought of doing a blog post for 2014 quite some times
but I’ve been out like everyday.

Living the life. Yo.

I really wanna make a summary (kinda?) of this year
because this year, I saw the most growth in myself.
Like seriously a lot from my view, though it might not
be obvious for others.

How do I start ..?

Maybe I should give a review on my year ! 2014.
Yup that’s what I’ll do .. Let’s see ..

2014. 

In general it was great.
Awesome it fact.
For those who knows, I’m no longer that involved in NPCC.
Which frees out so so much time.
Giving me more than enough to think, and over think.
A lot more time for friends and do a little soul searching.
I kinda found myself ,I think? *holy musics*
I think it’s true that one has to be lost in their way
so that they can truly find the right path/destination they want.
If you ask me what do I mean by finding myself, I have to say…
I’m not sure.
I just don’t feel so “lost” and “blinded” anymore.
I know what I want, more importantly I know what I DO NOT want.
From examples of shits I see and all.
For maybe the first time, I can smile to myself and be in peace with
myself some times.
Some other times I still have some teenage girls confused moments,
but the occurrence reduced significantly and I can actually calm
myself down and think my way out.
Suddenly all the empowering quotes and advices I see online and get
from friends makes complete sense.
( When I was young I would just brush what people tell me off
“becuz dhey juz dunn unstd miie”)
I think this is good news and a clear sign of growing up, of maturing.
THOUGHTS, people not physically, I look as young as I can be, gosh.

Thinking.
You have no idea what goes through my mind.
I think it’s something normal human beings cannot comprehend and I do
spend time wishing suspecting I’m from another planet.
I mean I think way too much. About a lot of stuff.
What I mean is not thinking in the 12 YO girls way like:
” WHY DO THEY HATE ME ? WHY ?!”
” WHY DOESN’T HE LOVE ME NO MORE WHY ?!”
” WHY I JUST CAN’T DO IT I SUCK.”
” IF I DIE NO ONE WOULD CARE.”

Oh guanyinma no.
Let’s have a look what goes through my mind on a daily routine:
” Why are some Americans so racist ?! (Note to self, SOME not all)
Is it because of their culture? They have a very laid back culture
what are the ways it affect the current racial culture? Or is it their
religion? They are mostly Christians which is dominant and originated
in none multiracial regions, it that why? But Christianity preaches peace.”
OR
” Why are there so many similar occurrence and documentaries
through out different cultures and religion? Like the great flood and it’s
survivors?
It appeared in Greek Mythology, Buddhism, Christianity , et cetera.
Why ? Did it really happen? Or they originated from the same source?
Which probably did, if it did, then what is it ?”
OR
” Everything HAS a reason. A cause then effect thing. Everything I did
leads to this exact moment of me sitting here typing these, is it destined?
Or the future is an unknown? Is this the destined path I ought to take?
(This is what I tell myself when I have bubbling thoughts of regrets,
more on that later.)”
OR
“Everyone is
born a pure piece of paper. What they go through leaves marks and folds.
Many a times they can’t control what is written on then or how they are
folded. They might be taught what they did is right, or maybe the hideous thing
they did might be effect of mental stress built up. Or maybe that is the only
way they know how to express an emotion. Plus how one person behave
can be affected by so so many factors like:
– Religion.
– Family.
– Education.
– Environment.
– Country regiment.
– Health.
And on and on.

So how can we truly blame someone? “

Some thing like that and a lot more other stuff about religion, politics, histories,
environment, the origins, true meaning of life, supernatural stuff and guys.
 
I also do research on these topics.
So sometime I love to rant about all these and bore my friends to death.
I’ve become pretty analytical, I break down information and even EMOTIONS
into tiny bit and digest it. Knowing the other factors make me understand
the subject more thoroughly.
How I wish I can meet someone who is actually interested and we can share our
knowledge.

Yes, knowledge is my new found passion.
I love love love knowing know stuff, how things works, how things come about.
Though I forgot about them more often than not after researching about it. D:
I might have went a little far on these stuff that no one cares about but I truly
believe that people ought to know more about this gigantic wonderful mess we
live in. The awes and wonders of life of science of people of the universe and
realities (; ?
How can people not wonder ?

All these learning and thinking made me more empathetic, sympathetic,
compassionate. (All self declare one) And a whole lot more understanding.
My mind clears out so much as I decide to be more forgiving and understanding
and you know what? That’s how I feel more at peace.
That and I really believe in Karma and that one should give because that’s what
we should do but never expect because people don’t owe you even if you helped.
[Nope, I’m not a Buddhist, I’m actually a free thinker. Maybe more on that next time.]
Do that now ? Never mind, I forgive (for real) for Karma might strike you one
day if you keep doing that. What goes around, comes around.
Help you ? Sure ! Because that will make you happy and people about me being happy
makes me happy. Return the favor ? Nah it’s fine. Help me back only if you want to,
not when you have to.

Talking about happiness.
I think I am a happier person this year, 2014.
How can I know after learning and understanding so much.
I put a lot things down, let by gone be by gone.
I abandoned the concept of regretting.
I no longer believe in regretting.
Firstly because I believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
To rid of someone that is toxic, to teach you a lesson, to push you forward.
Things don’t happen to you, they happen FOR you.
When I understood this, that is when I understood there is no point in
regretting. Big or small. What is important is don’t let the incident or
consequence go to waste. Learn whatever you can from it and move forward.
And never make that same mistake again.
If you can’t do that then at least try not to think backwards but instead, forward.
Dwelling in the past can be very very draining and harmful.

Crap I’ve lost my train of thoughts.

Being direct.
Too direct sometimes?
It is an Aquarius trait. I wasn’t this bad until later this year.
I used to be very nice and easy on my words, I use to deny this trait when I read
Horoscope when I was a younger me.
I can deny it no more.
If I have to explain why or what caused my increased directness I would say:
– My amazingly high level of ‘don’t-give-a-fk”-ness &
– My laziness.
I’m just too lazy to sugar coat it or beat around the bush all the time.
You have no idea how much easier lives are with directness. Weeeee.

Friends.
Honestly, I can’t make this far without my amazing and annoying as hell friends.
I love them (‘: I don’t usually say such mushy stuff and actually mean it.
They made the seemingly tough hell road so much more fun and enjoyable.
I don’t feel that alone anymore.
This year I spent time with my many different friends and I’m so happy
I have them. I’ll let the pictures so the talking ?

2015 will be better (:

I so wanna believe in fairytales.

Did I mention before that one of the main reason that I continue blogging
is because I like to type on the computer keyboard ? :X

Okay here I am blogging again in an obvious effort
to revive my blog.
Things are boring recently.
There’s no NP events recently , so it’d been
school, work, school, work, school, work and school.
And meeting friends every 17 days or something ?
I can’t remember, I don’t have good memory.

Let’s talk about school for a little.
My previous semester’s GPA was 3.109.
Which was lousy if I compared it to my classmates.
(I think I’m the bottom few.)
Never the less, I was am still very motivated to score well
for this semester 😀
Because :
– The modules this semester seems pretty easy. For now.
– I am promised an iPad for 6As / a Kindle for 4As.
For every A I get I will be given …. Nah, not gonna tell you.
See, it’s a sure win situation for me. OOPS :X

Tsk, my mouse spoilt.

(Before I continue the post below this sentence, I chatted with a few
friends on FB, showered, browsed FB, watched some video. 3 hours has
passed :X)

Okay, so that was about it for school ? So far from what I remembered.

Now work.

Work’s the same, nothing much.
It’s like sitting there and get paid for it. My job is easy.
Despite saying so I really learnt a lot from my job,
not exactly job related though.

Boss really taught me how ugly the world really can get  really is,
how naive I was … Actually, still am .
I got really sad when he told me stories and how the world really
is like, especially the sales section.
Hmph :/
There’s also the fellow part timer, 26 YO.

They told me/ what I’ve learnt :

– Enjoy while you can , there’s really no time for you
to even do nothing when you come in to the society.
It’ll all about family, earning money, and money again.

– Don’t get married too early.
Or even worse, they kinda changed my mindset about the
entire marriage thing.
What I thought was really like, be in love, get married, have kids,
happily after. While maybe because I didn’t think that much.
Come on, I’m 17 only.
But they really showed me the … dark side ?
No, there’s no cookies at the dark side.
My boss showed me how … fragile a relationship between two
person is .. Yes, showed. :/
It seems like you’ll never ever gonna know if that’s the
right person for you, probably not even til you die.

– Don’t get in to sales.
Gosh, you really have to work every single day !
No public holidays what-so-ever, not even on weekends. Siao.

– Money IS important.

– People are materialistic.

That’s about it, it’s so depressing I don’t wanna think about it
anymore.

There was this very young and beautiful looking auntie
who came to the shop and we (Her, me, boss) had a good chat
about live outside Singapore.
She was a Singaporean who emigrated to Australia 20 over
years ago.

(Before I continue , I have something to confess ..
I got distracted for about 2 weeks before coming back here to complete my post.)

So, what she told us was that Singapore is a shining star country in the
eyes of the foreigners in the country. She said the people there thinks very
highly of Singapore. I didn’t have the chance to ask her why.

I asked her if it is stress living there, as in if the standard of living there
is high. She , surprisingly to me, said not at all. She told me the life there is
near to blissful, everyone ends work early and there is no such thing as
over time. People don’t put ‘work’ as priority over there.
Work ends at about 5pm every day and get their pay by weeks or fortnights.
The life there is not stressful at all. Only minus point is that there are no
yummy food like we have here in Singapore.

She told me the comparison of Australia and here.
She really likes it here in Singapore. BUT the life here is quick paced
and stressful. Like a train there can’t stop moving.
The standard of living here is way more expensive then there.
In fact, it’s way more expensive than most of other countries.

I was shock, but at the same time I have to agree even though I didn’t live
in other countries before.
I myself feel it as a 17 years old girl. I have to work part time and study
at the same time ? Although it’s totally by choice.
I felt pretty sad when she said that. I love this country, but because of our size
and system and kiasu-ness, this environment is way too stressful.

Just look at the people waiting for MRT .. (AND HOW INSIDE GOT SPACE PEOPLE DON’T WANT MOVE !)
Apparently there are no space left at the entrance, they die die also want to squeeze in.
And me being a little small in size always no need move people at the back will
push me in.

This bring me back to my all time favourite topic.
Our education system.
On the other day, I had a quick conversation with one of my lecturer about the ed system.

Yes, the richer people/family is at an advantage end of the entire system !
Only 4/10 people from tops schools are living in HDBs, others lives in
condominium, terrace and stuff.
Ya, you may think okay what, considered a lot. NO !
Do you know how many HDBs we have in Singapore ? It’s all over the place !
And only 40% comes from HDBs ? Siao.

Let me analyse.
Kids born in wealthy family have less things to worry about.
Parents are rich enough to hire maids that will pretty much clear all the chores.
They will not hear ” AH BOY UH ! GO WASH THE PLATES !”
or ” WOI ! SWEEP FLOOR ! THEN KEEP THE CLOTHES !.
Which you have to agree hating to hear all these from your parents.
This shouting thingy from them will distract you from studying if you were.
It also takes up your studying time. Or your playing time, which cannot be shorten will
eat into your playing time.

Us as the poor kid, will spend time thinking about the stuff we want but can’t have.
Rich kid ? Point and get it.
Rich kids have their own room too, and their own comfy personaly space to study.
Poor kids don’t.

I shall not elaborate anymore, I have blogged about the other points before.
Go find.

Okay .. That’s about it .
Can tell I am under a lot of lame stress lol.
Chaos !

(Finally completed this post haha)

:D

Some people is really.. Mixing things up.

They have a crush on someone and they say they like or even LOVE.

If you say you have a crush on someone it means you admire that

person in a way or other, not like.

Example

“I like him/her, cause he/she very cute.”

Please lah you only admire his/her look lah.

Some worse, you can say you love/like this person and the next moment

you love/like someone else almost forgetting you’d ever liked/loved that

previous person. What the heck sia?

Now people like stead and break like no big deal like that, I really

must salute those people lehh. ==

Take relationship so likely -.-

&& I want salute those can stay in a relationship more than 1 year de and

they’re of MY age, so like in Secondary. Pro, it’s pretty difficult to do that.

For now.

Okay, let’s talk about today.

(Cool this is so gonna be the longest post I posted so far.)

Training was … Not so tough as I thought, pretty slack.

THE CI EVEN GAVE US 8 MINUTES TO CHANGE! 😀

And we learnt alot of new drills! Cool.

And the CI thought we won’t be able to remember them, the command and

everything. But please, we’re not stupid 😀 Can go search on Internet de mah.

By the way , I PASS MY ICT LEHH! 70% on the dot, heng heng. Haaaahh!

Okay, and today training MRS Rupesh come “kajiao(Or maybe is gajiao)”

Sabo me cannot stop laughing.

Word’s for Gavin Ng Jun Han Sir:

” YOUR FACE COME SO CLOSE WHO WON’T LAUGH?!” (:

The PT drills was fun XD, hop here and there.

[Up! 2! 3! 4! Left! Right! Left!] <3

&&&!!! We got alot of wonderful news!

*If everyday training is like that it will be heaven! If NCO camp can like that XDDD*

Wait long long -.-

NEWS NUMBER ONE! :

NO NO NO NO NO MOREEEEE CHANGING PARADE!!!

Seriously, we are so fortunate!*give sly smile to graduated seniors* Hek Hek.

But come to think of it, I’m sure I, no We’ll all miss it, it’s kinda fun some-

time. And We only have it for like 5 times AT MOST. Yes, from Sec 1 to 3.

COOL!

NEWS NUMBER TWO! :

NO NO NO NO NO MOREEEEEE PUMPINGS FOR PUNISHMENT!!!

(Physical Training still can have.) [Pumping aka Push ups]



Come to thing of it, it isn’t that nice after all right?

Cause … No pumping for punishments means it’ll be something else right?

Something else … The possibility of running is so much higher right?

OMG!!! I RATHER DO PUMPING THAN RUN.!

OPNP unit running standard so much faster than HQ de sia ://

Will DIE de. . . Good luck, TO ME. My stamina pathetically low de.

NEWS NUMBER THREE! :

School allows ankle socks lately right? But at first OPNP unit don’t let de.

BUT! Thanks to our ‘Oh-So-Lovely’ OC which is

MR TOH WEE TECK! He let us wear le! Yay! Means I don’t have to

wear that retarded LONG socks to school every Wednesday liaozz!!! 😀

BUT, PLEASE REMEMBER GO CHOA CHU KANG NPCC HQ CANNOT HAR.

Okay. Cool :D.



And just before training during lunch, something, what I consider INTERESTING,

happened. Pretty … COOL XD

Okay, we were sitting down having lunch on this table then suddenly some

Secondary 1 girls sat behind us, and I recognized one of them is the girl

that likes Qi Cheng. I FORGOT HER NAME. Idc -.-

Okay, then I was excited.. Not really.. Then I turned to SAMANTHA who was

beside me and asked

“That’s the girl that like QiCheng right?”

“Ya”

Actually didn’t need her answer lah, saw her before liaozz.

Me ” She damn chio loh, so cute *X3″

“Hmmm.. Rrr. Okay okay lah.”

“No loh, she very pretty. ”

Then I turned and looked at “QC’s admirer” again . THEN.

QC’s Admirer:

” Yes, I am the one that have a crush on Qi Cheng. It’s like the whole school is

spreading it ….. ”

Behind never hear, she obviously noticed my behaviour.

At first I was quite angry with her reaction, that’s rude. =/

But then hor, come to think of it …

I think she really really pretty. Not only her look lah, YOU SHALLOW! LOL JK.

It’s her courage la, seriously how many of you can admit something like that

infront of a stranger? And you can’t really be sure they’re really talking about

you? UH UH?! CAN YOU?! No right?! Then shhhh… Her courage is …

something not everyone have, what’s more she’s a SEC ONE! How long

have she been in this school? 1 month plus only leh …

&

It’s only her courage, her confidence in her voice make nudge me to.

She don’t know me nor what I was talking about, she’s not afraid she got it

wrong (Even tough she really did get it wrong) and talk to me like no body’s

business. Wow, rare … That’s what girls need in their look, confidence.

Yup, and that’s what makes her gorgeous.

I won’t be surprised if he’s Yusri’s next target or she’d got lots of people

jioing her. (:

Qicheng, if she make the first move accept lah. LOL XD

Feeling Awful.
And that’s awful.

When for the interview yesterday, the AC was much more pleasant than I’ve thought.
Mr Sim was the scary one.
The interview was in North brook. After the interview, we, Me Huai Miao Donovan and Kai Xiang,
when back tgt, saw the board of teachers -.-
Dont know what you call it, OPSS have one beside the General Office too. The one
that suppose to have all the pictures of our school staff on it.
I saw the crazy teacher’s face there. The more known as ” WHO SAID THAT?!”
XD
Okay, the story begins like this:
We, The NPAP cadet taking the bus under OPSS,
were on the bus heading back to OPSS.
We all were hot and sweaty and wanted to change back into mulfti
on the bus then she stand in the front and said:” Hello, I know you guys are tired and need to rest, I’ll off the lights for you guys to rest kay?”
Those wasnt her exact words,it happened few weeks back,
Hey, change out of our boot and beret was what we wanted. NOT rest,
we are usually hyper after trainings. She’s the one that wanted to rest. She amitted it.
Then after sometime, she walk to the middle of the bus then suddenly asked:
“I want to make sure that there’s no girl sitting with a boy or a boy sitting with a girl or two opposite sex sitting to gether.”
Then, okay I amitted I started the shouting back to her. “TEACHER WE NPCC CADET GIRL BOY MIX! DONT GENDER BIAS LAH!”
The the people join me shouting sexist all that.
The she suddenly turned back facing us shouting and screaming something
that i really cannot understand. Cause her voice totally changed from a female’s to a male’s. Scary.We diam loh.
Then she continued: “I Just wants to make sure that no opposite gender are sitting together, And I’m going to off the lights, I dont want you guys to do anything wrong.”
WHAT THE HECK? DID SHE REALLY EXPECT US TO HAVE SEX ON THE BUS OR WHAT?! SIAO.
crazy.
Please, she need some brain checkup. siao.
And that’s not all, after the lights were off,then blah blah… .
Okay, now Samantha wanted to change her boots but cant see, so she on her
flash light using the phone.
She told me to hold for her.
I did, then i started to play with the light, I shone it around.
Kevin then wanted to say something, I shone it to his face.
He scolded the MF word. [NOT Mozilla Firefox, somethingelse.]
Then the teacher suddenly rise and turn from her sit shouted “WHO SAID THAT?!!”
Very kuazhang leh this teacher, then scold scold scold Kevin.
She really really needs counselling.

And It’s obvious that my English is getting bad to worst from the start of the
entry to the bottom, not really in the mood to use good English.