I failed, I failed because I thought the person
that I’m there for will be there for me.
As many know, I’m a very busy person.
Or rather, someone with terrible time management skills.
I’m a hopeless procrastinator, and some are stunned
by how last minute I can leave my work till.
I am stunned myself.
I know I have a lot to do, but thinking back,
many of them are trouble I asked for myself.
” Trouble ” . 
Things that I’m not really obligated to do.
Or is totally none of my business at all.
They are not exactly ‘troubles’, each of them
comes with pretty valuable lessons, things I can learn
from.
For this instance, I learnt that, nah, I’m not that
capable at juggling too much stuff together.
Like it seems, I have many friends, of course I do.
I have 1,596 of them on Facebook and many more
in real life.
Then I realize, on my way rushing through many other
things. When I try to squeeze much stuff I can do
or attend to in mere 24 hours.
I replied a lot messages from friends with :
” Sorry have something on that day.”
” Can’t make it.”
” I have to work.”
” There’s training.”
” I need to complete some (honestly a lot of) stuff.”
Then slowly, slowly, I don’t have to reply these anymore.
Cause I’m no longer in their plans.
Discussions and meet ups goes on without me.
Be it school, NP or anywhere else.
I’m the kid that everyone comments :
” Aiya, she has friends some where else.”
” She confirm not free one.”
But I can’t blame them.
It’s my fault and I’m the only to blame for.
Still, I can’t put many things down.
I can’t slow down.
Someone would have to pin me down.
Someone would have to stop me.
Nah, I’m cool with that.

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