Seeing crowd makes me nervous.
Not in the public speaking sense.
I’m pretty okay with addressing large crowd.

The one that makes me stress it the type of crowd that you
see when you go down the escalator of Bishan circle line and the amount
of people during peak hour is just . Woah .
I’m pretty sure that’s 1/2 of Singapore population there.
The other half is at BV circle line.
(Hell, that scene will scare even Arnold Schwarzenegger)

The one that makes me stress is looking at all kind of people going
 squeezing their way on and off the train during the peak hour.
The way they walk so fast to somewhere they are almost sprinting.
How no one seems to be having a good day at all.

Actually, what really scares me is that I wonder how many of them are
actually rushing to something that they like doing, or rushing to meet people
they actually like. How many of them can say they had enough and a good sleep.
How many of them wishes that they don’t have to work, so that they do not have
to be so aunty/uncle and squeeze the life out of others just not to be late.
How many of them actually thought that their life will be like this when they
were younger ? When they were 19 … ?

What scared me the most is that, will I end up like them one day in the future?
Working cause I have to. Be so squashed and uncomfortable cause I can’t afford
to be late or a car. Rushing to a place I don’t even like that much just so I can complain
about it and do nothing about it everyday.

I don’t want that life. I’m 19, just 19. I still have the chance to change my fate.
A mundane fate that most Singaporean are heading towards.

That’s not my path, I’m heading somewhere else.

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